Thursday, 31 August 2017
I do not sing the same songs every day. I may not even sing the same genre every day. But just before I do sing a song, I shut my eyes for a moment and try to let my body tell me whether this is the right time for a song. I know that sounds kind of flaky but it's 100% true.That's part of my method.
And if I can stay quiet just for a moment like that and clear my thoughts, quite often I will be able to distill not only which genre to sing, but also which song. I don't uses meditation for any other facet of my life, even though I know some people swear by it. I only swear by the catharsis I feel when I sing a song that is totally "on point".
I remember a scene in the movie Summer School where Mark Harmon is trying to explain to a student who has a crush on him about catching the perfect wave; it is in reality not right for us all and we wipe out. But then we look again and see a more perfect wave than the first perfect wave and that's the one we catch. I don't get distressed when I am unable to sing a song on a particular day. Maybe that song is not for me that day. But maybe it will be tomorrow, and that's what I hold on to.
Wednesday, 30 August 2017
I did not start in high school like many people did. No, I was 25 years old and had a decent job. I remember how it happened. I had been having a stressful day and just wanted so badly to not feel stressed the way I was. So on break I turned to a smoker next to me and said, "Can I bum one?" At first she didn't want to give me the cigarette, but I managed to talk her into it. Once I started smoking, I didn't want to stop.
My biggest problem when it comes to smoking is that I actually like it. I enjoy the intake and the release of however many carcinogens I am putting in my body all at once. I have tried to quit before but have always returned to my master - the cigarette. The last time I quit was the worst - when I realized just how much smoking does affect the brain's pain inhibitors. I was smoke-free for three weeks and then one day the pain hit me. And I had been smoking so long that I had no idea how bad it had gotten. I resigned myself to smoking and never trying to quit again. Then came the doctor's visit when he told me I had chronic bronchitis. As a singer, that's the last thing I need. That, and my cigarettes that I was bound and bent to not let go.
For the past week I have been coughing all the time. I knew I wasn't sick; I knew it was the cigarettes. Then today I took a selfie while I was out on the balcony having a cigarette. I looked at the picture. It looked gross to me, a lit cigarette between pursed lips. So that was it. I have to quit. I am tired of the cigarettes making me feel like I have walking pneumonia. Enough is enough. I really, really want this to be the end.
Tuesday, 29 August 2017
Monday, 28 August 2017
Sunday, 27 August 2017
Saturday, 26 August 2017
Friday, 25 August 2017
Thursday, 24 August 2017
Wednesday, 23 August 2017
Tuesday, 22 August 2017
Monday, 21 August 2017
Sunday, 20 August 2017
Saturday, 19 August 2017
Friday, 18 August 2017
Thursday, 17 August 2017
Wednesday, 16 August 2017
Tuesday, 15 August 2017
I have heard people say that people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. But they never mention how difficult it is to ascertain which purpose matched which person. I have certainly had my experiences with people who became something very different than I thought at the beginning. Surely he could be counted in this group.
I met him on DeviantArt, somewhere one is not expecting trolls. Pretty much everyone else there is an artist themselves and trying to showcase some of their work online. On that site it is very commonplace to be respectful of what other people post, hoping that they will be respectful of yours as well. So I didn't understand what he was doing there at first. He did not seem to post anything other than pictures and memes he found, and not for the purposes of showcasing some type of photo manipulation. I was certain I was dealing with yet another troll, albeit on a very unlikely site.
On DeviantArt we don't have "subscribers" or "followers"; we have "watchers". He became a watcher of mine very early on when I joined about a year ago. As is my custom, I became his in return. He commented frequently on my art; and in return, I ignored his contributions most of the time. I was there to see artwork, not memes. And I didn't want to go out of my way to deal with someone who was clearly there to be a troll.
I found the above meme just now when I did a search of his username on Google. He also wrote status updates at least a few times daily which, as his watcher, I would also see. He was very funny and he would recognize the silliness in me if it presented itself. I think he appreciated that side of me more than most people. Somewhere along the way he started calling me "Garcia" but he never explained why. Probably just another trolling thing, I thought.
Days became weeks, then months. I was becoming less apprehensive about dealing with him. Sometimes I would post links to videos or things from other sites and I would tag him, knowing that only he would appreciate the humor within. And then a few days ago, I had a notification that he had sent me a note. Confused, I clicked on it. "I have really enjoyed our time together. You are gifted and intelligent and funny. I hope you can find comfort in your skin and love yourself. You deserve love and comfort." I was confused and worried. It seemed so final. I replied "There have been days for me (as for everyone) when I thought I couldn't smile at all. Then I would read a comment of yours and life would look less bleak. Thank you for your gifts of parody and satire. It has meant a lot to me. You're not leaving DA are you?"
There was no reply. No more status updates. No more memes. I even went to check his page and he was definitely not there. However I noticed that in his comments section, he responded warmly to people who reached out to him. There was no evidence of trolling at all. I think I am going to post a link to this blog on my page. Maybe he'll come back and see it and I can be "Garcia" again like before. Or maybe he'll just come back and I will get another chance to truly appreciate what he brought to my life. And maybe this time I won't mess it up.
Monday, 14 August 2017
Sunday, 13 August 2017
Saturday, 12 August 2017
Norman Lear is the iconic television writer and producer who produced such 1970s sitcoms as All in the Family, Sanford and Son, One Day at a Time, The Jeffersons, Good Times and Maude. His shows always seemed to favor the left side of the political spectrum. Characters would frequently deal with racism, feminism, poverty and so on. Even now I watch reruns on YouTube and wonder whether any of his characters had a "normal" day where they were not forced to champion social justice causes and the like. Lear never seemed to get off that soap box.
The character of Archie Bunker was probably one of his most well-known inventions. A loudmouth bigot who lived in Queens, New York with too many biases to mention. Not to mention the ceaseless arguments with his son-in-law, Meathead. Archie was meant to be a satirical character, used to highlight the stereotypes that plagued society. It seemed like everything was a political statement with him.
And then somewhere around the middle of All in the Family's run, a new spinoff was born: The Jeffersons. Now the patriarch (George Jefferson) had racist biases as well, but for some reason that never got the amount of coverage it did in the Bunker household. But anyone who is well-versed with the show has to admit that George Jefferson did not want anything to do with white people whatsoever. And George certainly wasn't portrayed as a simple-minded man like Archie Bunker. He was just a little eccentric, that's all. Now everybody nod in agreement.
Now at age 95, Lear seems to be hanging on for as many seasons as he can. I wonder if he feels a sense of pride for his contribution towards the modern SJW movement, or if he has ever had any second thoughts about the messages he has shoved down our throats for over 40 years. And now the players don't even need a script anymore. Every day is a dress rehearsal for the series finale, where we find out how much of society really lays at our feet, destroyed by the seemingly good intentions of men like Norman Lear.
Friday, 11 August 2017
Thursday, 10 August 2017
Wednesday, 9 August 2017
Tuesday, 8 August 2017
What a week this has been so far! First I finally reach my goal of 10,000 views on YouTube so I would be eligible for monetization. Then this morning I was looking at my Video Manager for some reason and I noticed the loveliest sight - little dollar signs next to my individual video view counts, just waiting for me to come along and turn them green. Yes, I am monetized now. I felt like I was floating around in a bubble. That is, until the bubble burst about halfway through the first page.
One of my videos I had done for my daily news commentary series called REACT had a sad looking yellow dollar sign among all of the proud green ones. I soon discovered that the yellow dollar signs mean that my video was deemed not advertiser-friendly. Thing is, I knew why I was denied monetization for that video. The bigger question then becomes am I going to let this change my news commentary at all?
Nope. My REACT items speak the truth about subjects that find too many people in deep denial. I want to spread the message that it is okay to speak up. People won't always like what you have to say, but you know that no matter what you have maintained a strength of conviction. And even if I never make more money than I would need for a cup of coffee, I will know that I tried to make the world a better place - one non-advertiser-friendly video at a time.
Monday, 7 August 2017
Sunday, 6 August 2017
Saturday, 5 August 2017
Friday, 4 August 2017
Thursday, 3 August 2017
Wednesday, 2 August 2017
I create content for social media - probably more than most people. And I have noticed some things that could be improved upon. In return, this can help us all hang on to that one frazzled nerve we have left from our three-dimensional lives.
Let it go If you don't like someone's post for whatever reason, it is not vitally important that you go off on a rant in the comments section. No one is waiting with bated breath to hear what you think. Want to see a different opinion? Make your own post. Until then, Felicia, shut the hell up and get over yourself.
Do not feed the trolls I made an amendment to this one not too long ago. It limits those regrets that you didn't land the perfect line and you let them get off so easily. So now I have made a deal with myself: I would think up the best comment I could come up with in that given situation...and THEN I would stop feeding the troll. It makes me feel much better. And I am blessed with genes that allow me to be both cold and cutting in equal measure. No point in wasting all that good fortune.
Your baby is precious...to you I don't mind seeing one or two pictures of your bundle from heaven, but why do I need to see 16 pictures of a newborn in the same onesie? How do you feel when other people do that to you? Exactly. Now stop it.
Quit it with the Victim Olympics already These people have no idea what is going on in anyone else's life because they can't shut up about their own drama long enough to pay attention. Want to know something? As humans we technically start dying when we hit 21 years old. All of us. Now put that in your pipe and smoke it.
Tuesday, 1 August 2017
I don't know where I was or what was occupying my mind the whole time Logan and Jake Paul were taking the internet by storm. With over 9 million subscribers each and rising, it looks like the Pauls have ascended to the ranks of YouTube royalty. And once I found out how old they were (22 and 20 respectively) all I could think is how young they are, how I am old enough to be their mom. But curiosity got the better of me and suddenly I had to know exactly what I had been missing. If anything.
First, I had to listen to It's Everyday Bro. I needed to know if I would be just as perplexed as everyone else as to why it was so popular. And I was perplexed. But really I saw Jake Paul as a goofy little kid. Not just because of his age, but because of his whole demeanor. He was a little kid playing Rap Artist and looked like he was enjoying the ride. Basically, the song is okay. I enjoy the weird compilations that the song has spawned so much more.
Without going into too much of the backstory, these brothers had a massive falling out. So there were a few diss tracks flying about, but the one that really landed was Logan Paul's track called The Fall Of Jake Paul. Now that rap song was fucking amazing. As someone who can really appreciate how difficult it is to write decent rhymes and then execute them, I was blown away. On some level, I felt bad for Jake because I got the strong feeling that he could never produce a track that would beat Logan's. He just doesn't seem to have that edge, that darkness to him.
So am I a Jake Pauler or a member of the Maverick Logang? If I had to choose for whatever reason, I think I would become a Maverick. I can't identify with Jake's childlike aura at all. But Logan's darkness and edge? Hell ya. That's me all day.