Wednesday, 21 September 2016

Left Behind

I am the biggest pro-male female I know. I will always admit when they are the disadvantaged ones or when the media is making them out to be villains. But there's one thing that I am not fond of about males in general. If you are friends with a guy and it's awesome and great and you really click...and then they start viewing you as a potential love interest. You might have to tell them no because of reasons, and that becomes the kiss of death in the friendship. It never goes back to the way it used to be. You would think if you have this wonderful connection as friends, a guy wouldn't want to lose that any more than you do. This is not what happens. I get along better with guys than girls in general and I am sick to death of losing friends.

I keep thinking about one particular individual who is still technically on my Friends list on Facebook, though I am not sure why anymore. And I had to watch him snub me and move on - big time "move on". I am not jealous of her (I don't even know her) and I do wish them well. But I miss my friend. It is not often you find a friend that you can chat with any time of day and feel so comfortable. That's the part I am mourning. Six years of finding, discovering and losing one of my best friends.

I have become so jaded towards guys it's not even funny. I keep virtually everyone at arm's length, afraid to let someone in and lose them down the road. Even the ones that manage to squeeze past my wall don't make it very far. It's a sad way to live, but it hurts too much to be open right now.

So, Mystery Man, if you are reading this (which I doubt), I do miss you. It's been so long since we talked - you have this whole other life I know nothing about. Then again, I do too. Maybe sometime when enough time passes, we can chat again. I see by your pics that you are happy now and I am happy for you. But sometimes I think about you and wonder if you will ever message me from McDonald's at 3am again. Or any time really. Or just message me. I hope to hear from you again someday. You always did make me laugh.